練習により

現在、合気道とギターと日本語を練習している。練習するに伴って、満足ができるのは当たり前だが、自分の希望や目標による進歩に比べて不満な気持ちもある。人によって違うけどこの不満な程度はあまり珍しくないと思う。なぜなら私が思うに、目標を集中させすぎることだ。人によって違うと書いたから例を上げる。目標はほめられることだったら何かができるかどうかあまり考えない。ほめられることによって満足ができる。上手くできても、ほめられないとがっかりする。まどかによって表示した満足を見て、その満足もあると知らされた。でも私の場合は違う。自分が上手くできると思わなかったら、ほめられることはついうそと思う。

一番いいことは練習だけで楽しめることだとおもう。練習は楽しかったら、必ず完全に満足ができる。でも他の作者や先生によると、そのことはすごく珍しいそうだ。どやって私もできるようになれると全然分からない。

Presently I'm practising aikido, guitar and Japanese. As one practices, obviously you get satisfaction, but comparing my progress to my hopes and goals leaves me with a some dissatisfaction as well. This differs from person to person, but I don't think it's that rare. Because the way I see it is I'm focusing too much on goals. I wrote this differs according to people so I'll give an example. If one's goal is to be praised, one doesn't really think about what one is capable of. It's through praise that one is capable of satisfaction. Even if one can do something really well, if one isn't praised one feels disappointed. It was by seeing displays of satisfaction made by Madoka that I was made aware that this kind of satisfaction exists. But my case is different. If I don't think I do something well but am complimented, I will habitually think that compliment is a lie.

The best way is to be able to have fun just by the act of practising. If practise is fun, it follows that one will be capable of perfect satisfaction. But according to various writers and teachers, that kind of thing is really rare. I have no idea how I could become capable of it.